With a post work Corona – and yes with a slice of fresh lime – seriously is there any other way? Who comes up with these things. Who sits there with a beer (who invented beer?) and goes ‘You know what I reckon, a slice of lime squeezed in through the top of this bottle would just set it off nicely!”. There should be knighthoods for people like that – well actually no, probably something more appropriate – maybe enforced retirement, with full pension and a house in the caribbean – YEAH! (and no it’s not the beer speaking – I’ve only had one sip so far!) And then there’s the corn chips – plain, salty, crispy and so yummy, throw in some salsa and sour cream and OMG it’s on – go the Mexicans! Do they even eat this stuff or has it all been Westernised??
I ask the big questions people!
What gives other people the right to get stroppy and cross with complete strangers..what makes it ok to vent and spew your venom all over other peoples feelings, since when is it ok to dump your crap on my front lawn?? I’m usually good with this stuff – if someone’s driving badly or behaving badly I can sit back and say ‘It’s their problem, you don’t know what’s going on in their life – they could have just found out that they have a terminal illness, their wife could have just left them, their child might have just died..you just don’t know so don’t take their issues on and make them your own’.
So, I work in retail and this group of 3 people came to the till (all of them 40+) one of the ladies carrying an item and looking very attached to it and smiling. I clock her reaction and interact with her by the time they are within 2 meters of the till, we talk, we laugh and we engage – life is good. Then comes the ‘tense moment’ – the mention of money is inevitable – that’s why we are all here, them to spend, me to earn – it has to be done. (I was like a lamb to the slaughter – think of a pack of 3 wolves stalking their happy little prey) The strike was imminent, the item scanned and before I knew what I was doing the words were out of my mouth and they pounced – straight for the jugular! The price on the tag was grossly ‘low’ and didn’t correspond to the price that flashed up on the till – which was almost double – and this is the price I said (because the till NEVER lies!)
WELL you would have thought I’d cheated them of life and that I was the one totally responsible for the garment, the pricing, the production, the Chinese workers in the factory that made the garment, the shipping company that imported the item, the buyers and merchandisers who selected the item, the stitch tax man, the zipper production lady, the manager, the CEO and hell the whole of Creation!! ‘YOU have to sell it to us for the price on the tag it’s illegal not to. YOU have to, by law, sell us the item for the price advertised. YOU have a legal obligation to sell the item at this price’
‘WELL guess what I don’t have to fucking do anything, I get paid shit wages, I get treated like shit, I have to deal with shit heads like you every day and you can go fuck yourselves’
is what I would like to have said…BUT what I actually said is (and take note all you self righteous shoppers out there that think you know the law!!) I don’t have to sell you the item for the low price, all I need to do is remove the stock from the shop floor, change the prices to their CORRECT price and then bring them back out on the shop floor again.’ If I do sell you that item at that price my sorry arse will get hauled across the hot coals by my incompetent boss and where will be your letter of thanks for taking the hit for you?  ’what’s that it got lost in the mail!  yeah sure – fuck off!’
But the rest of my day was pretty sweet and hopefully they had a totally crap one – found out they had a terminal illness, wife left them or something equally crappy.